The 1-2-3 Magic Concept
The premise of 1-2-3 Magic is based on fairly simple concepts—give directions effectively and stop arguing, nagging and pleading to gain compliance. When kids don’t comply, parents are encouraged to start counting. If the child doesn’t follow instructions by the time a parent reaches the number three, the child is given a negative consequence, such as time-out. Of course, there are times when parents are encouraged to give an immediate consequence, rather than offer three chances. If a child exhibits aggressive behavior, for example, the author recommends giving an immediate consequence. The program helps parents make consequences more effective while reducing manipulative behavior, such as whining and begging. While many programs lose effectiveness, 1-2-3 Magic can grow along with your child and be used for many years.The book covers how to use the program throughout a child’s development. Discipline strategies are appropriate for toddlers through tweens.
1-2-3 Magic Chapter Outline
Part I: Thinking Straight
Chapter 1: Orientation to the Parenting ProfessionChapter 2: Your Three Parenting JobsChapter 3: The Little Adult AssumptionChapter 4: The Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes
Part II: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior (Job #1)
Part III: Managing Kids’ Testing and Manipulation
Chapter 10: The Six Types of Testing and ManipulationChapter 11: Counting in ActionChapter 12: More Serious Offenses in Tweens
Part IV: Encouraging Good Behavior (Job #2)
Chapter 13: Establishing Positive RoutinesChapter 14: Up and Out in the MorningChapter 15: Cleaning Up and ChoresChapter 16: SuppertimeChapter 17: HomeworkChapter 18: Going to Bed- And Staying There
Part V: Strengthening Your Relationship with Your Children (Job #3)
Chapter 19: Sympathetic ListeningChapter 20: Real Magic: One-on-One FunChapter 21: When Can You Talk?Chapter 22: Solving Problems TogetherChapter 23: Kids, Tween and Tech
Part VI: Enjoying Your New Family Life
Chapter 24: Staying on the WagonChapter 25: Your New Life
Does 1-2-3 Magic Work?
Overall, 1-2-3 Magic is likely to save parents a lot of time and energy that could be wasted on arguments. Kids are likely to learn pretty quickly that when Mom or Dad starts counting, they mean business. It’s also likely to help kids learn new skills and prevent many behavior problems before they start. It’s likely to be effective with many children with special needs, including kids with ADHD. One of the potential drawbacks of 1-2-3 Magic is that it gives kids three chances to comply. In the real world, your boss is likely to expect compliance the first time you’re asked. You likely won’t be given repeated warnings or reminders to follow through. Your child will figure out that he doesn’t need to listen the first time you speak. Instead, he can keep playing or procrastinating right up until you’re about to say, “three.” Eventually, you might feel as though you’re training your child to tune you out longer than you’d like. An alternative to counting to three is to offer an if…then warning where you follow through with a consequence after a single warning that makes the consequence of non-compliance clear. All in all, however, most parents are likely to find the program to be very effective. But, like any new parenting program, it only works if parents are consistent. Giving in, not giving a consequence, or backing down will show your child that he doesn’t have to listen. So it’s important to follow the program every day if you want to change your child’s behavior. The 1-2-3 Magic approach to discipline can be effective for other caregivers too. Day care providers and teachers may benefit from the book. It’s likely to be most effective when all of a child’s caregivers follow the program. The 1-2-3 Magic website offers other resources in addition to the books. There are DVDs, workbooks and programs for both parents and teachers.
