It’s not unusual for kids with developmental disabilities to obsessively collect objects that might look to others like hoarded junk—and it’s not necessarily harmful, either. These questions can help you determine whether your child’s hoarding might be a sign of psychiatric problems, or whether it’s a perseverative behavior that you might be able to work with. If you answer “yes” to questions one through four, consult your child’s doctor or a mental health professional for help. If you answer “no” to those but “yes” to some of the rest, follow the suggestions to use those obsessive interests to improve your child’s communication and interaction. But if your child can’t get out of the room or you can’t get in, that’s a problem. If your child is hoarding things that may be harmful—dirty garbage, say, or items with sharp edges—that’s a problem. If your child’s hoard of papers sits up against a heater or otherwise creates risk, that’s a problem, but one that can probably be solved with some storage bins. Consult a mental health professional if hoarding puts your child or family in physical danger, and your child resists efforts to resolve that. It’s not necessarily abnormal for a child to stash a favorite snack or some sneakily acquired candy in a bedroom drawer or backpack, but if you notice your child hoarding large amounts of food, bingeing on hoarded food, stealing food to hoard, or otherwise showing an unhealthy fixation on food, it’s time to mention it to a mental health professional or your child’s doctor. It’s important, though, to consider intent: A child who doesn’t understand that knickknacks from the living room belong in the living room and not in a plastic bag in their bedroom is different from a child who deliberately takes cherished items from siblings and stows them in a jumbled stash in a hidden corner of their room. Putting attractive objects out of sight will help for the first problem but not the second, which may require the involvement of a mental health professional to determine why the stealing is occurring. Many children with special needs may take great comfort in the presence of their hoarded objects, but do not engage with them constantly or use them as a way to block out the real world. If you find your child’s hoarding interferes with important life activities (and not just with something like “keeping your room neat”), that’s a good signal that it’s time to talk to your child’s doctor or mental health professional about the hoarding. If your child resists all efforts to touch the stuff, even efforts that honor their need for it, that’s an indication that you may need to consult with a mental health professional. Ask your child to show you their favorite objects or tell you about them. Ask questions. Try playing with the objects the way your child does. This may be a door through which you can enter your child’s private world, and that’s not a door you want to slam shut. Assuming the objects aren’t harmful and are under control organizationally, giving your child a car or a key or a magazine or a slip of paper from your purse in return for a task that’s of interest to you may be a trade-off both of you can live with. You might also consider setting up a token system with the end reward being an item for your child’s “collection.” A child who sees little need for conversation may be inspired to ask about a receipt or a car or a key. Find things that your child might be interested in hoarding and start a conversation about them. Work together to find objects to add. Your child will always be more willing to communicate about things that are intensely interesting than things in which they see little value or attraction. With luck, the hoarding will remain neutral or better. However, if your answers to some of the questions above start to change, and your child’s hoarding starts to seem unhealthy, call in help. Often, the difference between treasure and trash is in the eye of the beholder. Extend that same understanding to your child.
