There are a number of reasons why the changes a woman experiences during pregnancy can affect her physical and emotional state, and by extension, her libido.
Low Libido in the First Trimester
Pregnancy triggers significant hormonal changes in preparation for the birth of your baby. These same changes can elicit feelings of happiness and optimism one day and plunge you into a vortex of anger or despair the next. While these fluctuations are perfectly normal, they can leave you feeling drained and exhausted. When it comes to sex drive, the sudden surge of progesterone and estrogen during the first trimester can have a contradictory effect. The sensory overstimulation may leave you feeling edgy rather than energized. Morning sickness and fatigue are also common—and neither of these will enhance sexual desire. To make matters worse, you may experience feelings of guilt if faced with a loss of libido. You may suddenly feel the pressure to have sex before your body changes even more, which can fuel feelings of self-doubt and also leave you feeling as if you’ve let your partner down.
Changes in the Second and Third Trimesters
By about week 10, things may start to turn around. Your elevated hormones will begin to drop, and many of the adverse effects of early pregnancy (such as nausea, queasiness, and vomiting) should also subside. As energy levels recover, so too may your sense of well-being and sexual desire. At the same time, an increase in vaginal lubrication, accompanied by the engorgement of the clitoris and vagina, can enhance both the quality and frequency of sex. But in the third trimester, things can swing in the opposite direction once again. Weight gain, back pain, and other symptoms can make getting in the mood all the more difficult as you approach your due date. Still, this is not always the case for every woman. Many enjoy sex just as much in the later stages of pregnancy, although they may have less of it.
There Is No Right Amount of Sex
The pattern of ups and downs a woman experiences during pregnancy is by no means set or consistent from person to person or pregnancy to pregnancy. Some women report a minimal drop in sex drive and find that the sensory overload enhances their sex life. Others, meanwhile, feel an enormous loss if a pregnancy changes the nature of their sexual relationship in any way. A woman’s sex drive during her pregnancy is as unique and individual as she is with no right or wrong experience.
Dealing With Low Libido
Dealing with the loss of libido requires honesty, self-acceptance, and communication. Your partner can sympathize with the effect hormones have on your body if you’re open about what you’re feeling and experiencing, both physically and emotionally. If you don’t feel sexy, tell your partner and try not to immediately dismiss any comments they might make in an effort to be helpful. These strategies may also help:
Engage in other kinds of intimacy. If you don’t have time or energy for intercourse, try other intimate activities such as giving each other a massage or back rub. Get enough sleep. Try to get a full eight hours of sleep every night. Insufficient sleep will add up over time and can make the ability to have sex (much less wanting it) all the more difficult. Tend to your physical wellness. Try to exercise and eat well when you can. These two things can also boost energy and confidence levels. Try different sexual positions. Don’t let the size of your belly make you feel awkward or interfere with your sex life. Instead, focus on what feels physically comfortable. Experiment with pregnancy-friendly sex positions, such as side-to-side or woman on top (so that there is no added pressure on the abdomen).
A Word From Verywell
Experiencing a lowered sex drive is a normal part of pregnancy for many women, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. By being open with your partner and your doctor about what you’re feeling, you can take steps to ensure you’re as comfortable as you can be during this stage of your life.
