However, you’ll also want to take things slow and give your kids the freedom to opt out of social obligations or activities when they need some space. For example, you might say, “I appreciate all your help. However, what I really need right now, more than meals, is for someone to take Johnny to baseball practice on Thursdays.” There’s nothing wrong with being specific about your needs. For example, you could say, “I appreciate your calls, but I just don’t feel like talking right now. Would you mind trying me again in a week or so?” Sometimes just talking to someone who doesn’t already know you is a relief. It allows you to freely express yourself without the concern that being honest is going to cause others to worry about you even more. Give yourself time to adjust to your loss and be sure that the changes you’re envisioning do, indeed, reflect the decisions you want to make. Trying to control the process will only slow your progression and rob your children of the opportunity to see that what they’re experiencing isn’t unusual or insurmountable.
